Bondage basics

What bondage is

Bondage is the restriction of movement for pleasure, power exchange or sensation. Rope gets most of the attention, but a great deal of bondage involves no rope at all: leather and neoprene cuffs, straps, bondage tape, spreader bars, under-bed systems, stocks, cages and purpose-built furniture.

People enjoy bondage for the feeling of helplessness, the heightened awareness of touch when movement is impossible, the trust it demonstrates, and the visual of a bound body. For some it is a scene in itself; for others it is the setting for sensation play, impact or tease and denial.

Choosing restraints

Cuffs are the easiest starting point. Look for a wide band that distributes pressure, a lining that will not chafe, and a fastening that can be released quickly. Padded leather and neoprene are both comfortable for extended wear. Metal handcuffs are hard, narrow and prone to tightening, and are not a good choice for play.

Bondage tape sticks only to itself, not to skin or hair, and is cheap, versatile and easy to cut away. It is a good introduction for people nervous about restraint.

Whatever you choose, test the release method before using it on a person, and keep a backup. Keys get lost; buckles jam. Safety shears that cut through tape, straps and rope are worth owning.

Principles that keep bondage safe

• Never leave a restrained person alone. Not for a phone call, not for a glass of water. A fall, a cramp or a panic can become dangerous in seconds.
• Check circulation and sensation regularly. Cold, colour change, tingling or numbness means loosen or release.
• Avoid pressure on joints and nerves. Restrain the forearm or above the ankle rather than directly on the wrist bones or ankle bones where possible, and never on the sides of the neck.
• Keep the airway clear. Nothing around the neck that could tighten, and nothing over the mouth and nose unless breathing is unobstructed and watched.
• Think about position. Arms above the head for long periods strain the shoulders and can affect breathing. Face-down positions need the head turned. Change positions during longer scenes.
• Plan for emergencies. Know how to release every restraint in the dark, in a hurry, with one hand.

Starting out

A pair of soft wrist cuffs attached to each other, a blindfold and a willing partner is a complete first bondage scene. Build from there as both of you learn what you enjoy. Bondage is one of the most adaptable areas of kink: as gentle or as strict, as decorative or as functional, as the two of you decide.