Rope and shibari

The appeal of rope

Rope bondage is the practice of restraining or decorating a body with rope. For some it is about restraint and helplessness; for others it is the intimacy of being handled slowly and deliberately; for others still it is an art form, a meditation, or a conversation conducted through tension and touch. The same tie can mean all of these to different people.

Rope is slower than cuffs or straps, and that slowness is part of the point. A rope scene unfolds over time, with the person tying making hundreds of small choices about pressure and placement, and the person being tied feeling every one of them.

Shibari and kinbaku

Shibari and kinbaku are Japanese terms for rope bondage, drawing on techniques and aesthetics that developed in Japan over the twentieth century, with roots in older practices. Shibari means "to tie"; kinbaku means "tight binding" and tends to be used for the more erotic and emotionally charged form. In Western practice the words are often used interchangeably to describe rope work in the Japanese style: natural-fibre rope, specific patterns, attention to line and form, and an emphasis on the connection between the two people.

Rigger and rope bunny

The person tying is usually called the rigger or rope top; the person being tied is the rope bunny, rope bottom, or model. These are rope-specific roles and do not always map onto D/s. Plenty of riggers are submissive in their broader life, and plenty of people who love being tied are Dominants elsewhere. In a D/s dynamic, rope often becomes a direct expression of the power exchange.

Being a good rope bottom is a skill. It involves knowing your body, understanding the warning signs of nerve and circulation trouble, communicating clearly, and learning how to manage position and breath in a tie.

Starting out

• Begin with floor work. Suspension is a separate and far more dangerous discipline that follows years, not weeks, of floor experience.
• Buy a few lengths of six to eight millimetre rope in jute, hemp or soft cotton, around eight metres each. Avoid anything that stretches.
• Learn a single-column tie, a double-column tie, and a simple chest harness. These three cover most of what a beginner needs and teach the fundamentals of tension and locking.
• Take an in-person class if one is available. Rope is tactile, and a teacher can correct what video cannot show.
• Keep safety shears within reach every time, without exception.
• Read the rope safety guide before your first tie on another person, and ask your partner to read it too.