Scene name

What a scene name is

A scene name is the name a person uses within the kink community in place of their legal name. It might be a single word, a title and a name, a handle carried over from online, or something chosen specifically. Many people are known for years by their scene name alone, and some of the best-known figures in any local scene are people whose legal names almost nobody knows.

Scene names are standard. Introducing yourself at a munch or party by a scene name is normal, expected, and not considered evasive.

Also used: scene name, kink name, handle, nom de kink. On Sanctum, a creator's display name usually functions as their scene name.

Why people use one

Privacy is the main reason. Kink is legal between consenting adults in most places, but it is not universally understood, and being identified as kinky can affect employment, family relationships, custody, housing, and safety. A scene name separates a person's kink life from the rest of their life and lets them participate without that risk.

Other reasons include:

• Identity. A scene name can express who someone is in kink in a way a given name does not. A Mistress might choose a name that carries authority; a pet might choose something soft.
• Role. Titles like Sir, Lady, or Master are often part of the name, signalling how the person wishes to be addressed.

Choosing yours

Choose something you can live with, because scene names tend to stick. Practical considerations:

• Make it pronounceable and memorable. People will say it aloud.
• Check that it is not already in use in your local scene.
• Be cautious about titles. Calling yourself Master or Mistress before anyone has called you that can read as presumptuous in some communities. In others it is simply how Dominants name themselves. Know your local norms.
• Avoid anything that could be traced to your legal identity: no initials, birth dates, or hometown references.

Etiquette

The etiquette around scene names is strict because the stakes are high:

• Never share anyone's legal name, workplace, or other identifying details without their explicit permission, even to other kinky people.
• Do not ask for someone's legal name. If they want you to have it, they will offer.
• Use the name a person gives you. Shortening it, changing it, or using a title they did not offer is disrespectful.

Outing someone, deliberately or carelessly, is one of the most serious harms in the community and is treated as such. A scene name only works if everyone protects it.