Play party and dungeon

Play parties and dungeons

A play party is an organised event where kinky people gather to play. A dungeon is a space equipped for it: a venue, permanent or temporary, with furniture like crosses, benches, and suspension points, and room for several scenes to run at once. Many play parties happen in dungeons; some happen in hired halls or private homes fitted out for the night.

Also used: play party, party, dungeon, club night, playspace, and private party (invitation-only, usually in a home).

How they are run

A well-run play party has:

• Hosts or organisers who vet attendees, set rules, and handle problems.
• Dungeon monitors (DMs), identifiable volunteers who watch the space, enforce the rules, and intervene if a scene looks unsafe. They are the people to find if something is wrong.
• Written rules, usually sent in advance and posted at the door, covering what play is permitted, alcohol and substance policy, photography (almost always banned), and etiquette.
• A social area separate from the play area, where people talk, rest, and recover.
• Entry requirements. Many events require attendees to have been to a munch first, to be vouched for, or to be a member. This is how the community keeps parties safe.

Etiquette

Party etiquette exists so that many people can play in one room without anyone feeling unsafe. The core rules are consistent across the scene:

• Do not interrupt a scene. Do not speak to, touch, or approach people who are playing. If you are concerned about a scene, tell a DM.
• Ask before touching anyone or anything. People, gear, furniture, rope. Everything.
• Keep a respectful distance when watching. Watching is usually fine; hovering, commenting, or being conspicuous is not.
• Do not assume availability. Being at a party is not an invitation to play, and a submissive is not fair game because they are collared or in gear.
• No photos, no exceptions. Outing people is a serious harm.
• Respect the no. At a party as everywhere else, a declined offer is the end of the conversation.
• Stay sober enough to consent and to play safely. Many parties are dry for this reason.

Attending your first party

Go to a munch first. Read the event's rules. Dress according to the code (fetish wear is common but rarely required; the rules will say). Arrive with no agenda beyond watching and talking. Introduce yourself to a DM so you know a face. Watch a few scenes from a polite distance and notice how experienced people handle negotiation, play, and aftercare.

Nobody expects a first-timer to play. The party will still be there next month.