Impact play safety

Know the body

Impact play covers everything from a hand on a backside to floggers, paddles, canes and whips. Done with knowledge it is among the most popular and rewarding forms of kink. Done carelessly it can cause lasting harm. The difference comes down to where you strike, how hard, with what, and how closely you pay attention.

Safer areas are large, muscular and padded: the buttocks, the upper thighs, and the fleshy upper back on either side of the spine. These can take considerable force and tend to bruise rather than break.

Caution areas need lighter tools and lighter hands: the calves, the outer upper arms, the chest (avoiding the breastbone), and the inner thighs, which are sensitive and close to major blood vessels.

Avoid the kidneys and lower back (roughly from the bottom of the ribs to the top of the hips, either side of the spine), the spine itself, the neck, the head, the face, the tailbone, joints, the hands and feet, and the abdomen. Striking these can damage organs, nerves or bones.

Tools and force

Warm up. Start light and build gradually so that blood flow increases and the skin and muscle are ready. A cold strike at full force is how most injuries happen. A warmed-up body also enjoys it more.

Floggers and whips wrap. The tips travel further than the body of the tool and can land on the hip, the side of the torso or the inner thigh with far more force than intended. Position yourself so the tails land flat, and practise until you can place them reliably.

Watch and listen

Pay constant attention to the person, not just the target.

• Check in regularly, verbally and by watching breathing, posture and skin.
• Stop if the skin breaks, if a bruise is forming fast and dark, or if the bottom goes quiet in a way that does not feel like enjoyment.
• Numbness, tingling or shooting pain anywhere means stop and reassess; you may be near a nerve.
• Alcohol and heavy impact do not mix, for either person.

Aftercare for marks

Bruising is normal and expected. Arnica cream and gentle cold compresses in the first day help; warmth after that eases stiffness. Keep broken skin clean and covered. Watch for signs of infection such as spreading redness, heat, or pus, and see a doctor if they appear.

Seek medical attention for any blow to the kidneys followed by back pain or blood in the urine, for suspected fractures, for numbness that persists, or for anything that worries you. There is no shame in a doctor's visit, and most will have seen it before.